Spackle

Moolah's bathroom has a small hole in the wall, about an inch square, in a corner, above the trim, across from the toilet.

A spider lives there.

Well, a spider lived there.

(Oosje, you may want to stop here).

For the past 4 years, there has almost always been a spider web in front of that hole. I vaccuum it up, but it comes back. Generations of spiders have occupied that little spot. I've tried to catch and release them (for the few of you who don't know, I don't kill spiders. It's a thing). But when they see anyone coming, they scamper back to their hole.

Moolah talked about the spider fairly regularly, usually as an excuse for why she couldn't go potty, brush her teeth, or otherwise follow a bathroom-based instruction. At first we didn't notice the pattern, but it became clear that the spider was Moolah's A #1 BoogieMan.

I told Moolah that the spider ran away every time I tried to catch it because it it was afraid of me, and of her, because we were so big. She seemed to believe the story, but the logic of "if the spider is afraid of you, you don't need to be afraid of it" was too much. Soon there were stories about the whole spider family. It was the baby we usually saw. The Daddy lived outside in the roses. There was a Mama and more babies in the wall.

Last night I had to work late. There was another spider incident. Daddy had heard enough.

He got the bug spray. He sprayed the hole and told Moolah "No more spider."

A few minutes later, upon return to the bathroom, they found the spider, flushed from the hole by the toxins, on the floor.

Daddy squished it with some toilet paper.

Not good enough.

Daddy flushed it down the toilet.

"There, it's been sprayed, squished, and flushed. No more spider to worry about."

"But what about the Mama and the Daddy and the other baby spiders?"

So, Daddy went to the garage and got the spackle. He spackled the hole, explaining about spackle, how it worked, and it's spider-proof properties.

I got back from work at about 10:30 pm and heard voices. Daddy was still in Moolah's room, trying to finish up bedtime.

"Hi," I said. "Why are you still awake?"

"Well, Daddy had some white stuff that is thick like toothpaste and spiders can't get through it."

"Really, Daddy spackled the hole in your bathroom?"

"Yes, and it will dry and the spiders won't be able to get through."

"Is that your Happy Thought?"

"Yes."

I've heard the story of the spraying, squishing, flushing and spackling at least three times since then. She promises that she will start using her bathroom instead of ours.