I don't have any stories of my own today. Here's an email I got from another mom of boys...
Daddy's response upon reading this. "# 25 is true.. I was already planning it."
Things Boys Teach You
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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4 comments:
26. Despite minimizing exposure to guns, boys will use whatever's handy and point it at you, saying "bang bang!". Empty paper towel rolls. Plastic toy golf clubs. Vacuum extension pipes. Toy baseball bats. Creativity knows no bounds!
Oh, and Number 3 should've been repeated many times and sprinkled again and again throughout that list ;-)
I have one. Despite having 2 daughters I have 4 nephews and decided long ago they're a different breed entirely
If your sister decides to teach her 3 year old son proper terms for genitalia, it will be you who's stood in a shop with him when he exclaims in previously mentioned loud voice - Auntie Lisa, I have a penis don't I? but you have a vagina!
Ah yes... kids and genitalia... that merits an entire post on its own ;-)
Todd: I have a wee-wee. Daddy has a wee-wee. What do you have, Mommy?
Mommy: Uh... *racks brain*... I... don't have one!
Todd: You don't have a wee-wee?
Mommy: No, girls don't have them. And I'm a girl.
Todd: *digests this info*... Well... we can make one for you!
That's fantastic! That's taking arts and crafts to a whole new place. Wow.
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